I’ve spent the last few months actively trying to understand the concept of resilience. People tend to think resilient folk are optimists, those who can spin a negative situation into a good one, who believe they will be cured of a disease, will survive the plane crash, will be able to finish first in a race. Interestingly research indicates resilience is linked to being able to maintain a degree of normal functioning and self while finding meaning in adversity. Resilient people are not adult versions of Polyanna, but those who are able to use adverse experiences to grow and keep a firm hold on life without losing their sense of self in the process.

Recently I have been dealing with a new issue that has worsened significantly over time. The diagnostic and treatment options for it are very few and, if we’re being honest, incredibly frightening. I am not sure where this path is leading and whether we will be allowed to try to tackle it or if we’ve nearing the end of near-misses.

What I am sure of is that if someone walked in the door right now, today and told me they could magically wave a wand to rewind the last ten years of my life and restore me to a perfectly healthy twenty year old version of my self, give me a healthy do-over so to speak, I would tell them to get lost. I do not regret one second of those ten years, would not change a thing from them. Each moment has played a part in getting me to this day, to this life and to Dot.

Now if anyone has any magical wands that instantly regenerate livers going forward I wouldn’t say no! And if not, perhaps some toddler cinema/dvd/streaming suggestions for Wednesday evening “movie nights”?!


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